Why do I smile at people who I’d much rather kick in the eye?

I’m at the beach. I decide to build a sand castle. So silly, I thought, but still. I’m here, and there’s nothing I would like to do more than just stay here, doing stuff. I could be doing anything, but I choose to build a sand castle.

I decide to make my castle a bit closer to the water, so that I would not need to walk a lot to get the water I need, but still far enough to keep my castle safe from the waves. I may have miscalculated the tide, because at some point, the water came closer and while I was finishing my second tower, a sudden wave came and hit it. And it happened again. For a while, I did not know what to do. I could simply move my entire project farther from the sea, or start all over. But for a while, I did nothing.

It was for a brief moment, but this gave the waves enough time to destroy almost everything I have built. They came and went, and all I could do was watch.

I could have simply started over, or, if I was fast enough, tried to save what was left of the sand castle. But then the tide would eventually get to it again, and all my effort would have been in vain. I think “why worry?”, and simply lie there, waiting for the water to get to me.

It is a comforting feeling, surprisingly soothing. Although I have nothing, at least I have myself. That’s what the salty and powerful water is trying to say. Or so I heard… I cannot be sure of my thoughts right now.